"the glory of love, and all that. it's incredible. the difference between reading about something, seeing it in pictures, and experiencing it..."
I don't have anything to say but I want to fill every silence. Or maybe, I'm too lazy to force myself to say what I want. I don't even know if there's someone reading my posts. Not that I care about that. But the thing is, I just want to express my tarradiddles. Even in just a little space provided by the virtual world. And I don't give a damn to those who want to react or whatever. Amen.
I don't know where to start. Let me rearrange my thoughts. Uhmmm... I still find this chosen path difficult. Sometimes, it's too much that I think I'm gonna cry or explode or something like that; but on the other hand, there are times that it's not that difficult that I'm satisfied of what I've decided to choose. But I think, it's a case to case basis. It really depends on the mood and the situation also. Maybe I ended up discovering or rather, proving that I do have a multiple personality disorder. Most of the things around me are driving me insane in the literal sense of the word.
warning: what you are about to read contains cheesiness. understanding on the author is recommended.
And as an addition to 'those' things is my newly found so-called "obsession". Or whatever you want to call that. It really is a big deal to them as well as to myself. I didn't notice it at first and I had a little regret to that. But for the longest time, I kept denying to the point that I raised the white flag. I surrendered. Now, I wholeheartedly admit it.
I can say that I find a reason to stay on what I chose. Though, "this" reason doesn't know so. But I felt that "this" reason has some magnet in it that pulls me closer. And it's inevitable. I can't keep myself drawn into it. This feeling really felt weird. And I mean, weird. Maybe because it's too raw for me. I've never encountered like this before, not even close. Honestly, I don't even know what to call it. But I do have an idea. Love? I don't think so. Infatuation? Maybe. As of now, I knew only one fact. That I am eager to get up every weekday mornings and get to school because, well it's obvious. But aside from getting my allowance; a pocketful of blushes conquers me on knowing I'm going to get a glimpse of "this" reason. And now, I can finally say that I'm living on the "land of smiles"...
Feb2k10
