“one-half of knowing what you want is knowing you must give up before you get it…”
I know what I want. I really do. I want to be a professional artist. I can do anything I want when I get the only thing I want. I want to be a graphic artist. I want to be a composer. I want to be a sculptor. I want to be an interior designer. I want to be a painter. I want to be a poet. I want to be a photographer. A travel photographer to be exact. I want to live in the world without limits. Where everything is free. But still, I need a bachelors degree. I need to be a professional to be a respected artist. And that’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.
It was a big mistake when I thought that I’m sort of liking ‘the other path”. I thought that it’s just easy to move on. But I was wrong. It is just temporary. It will not last a lifetime. I am right when I say that I can’t focus on one thing with there’s something I can’t help thinking about. Another brainstorming. Another test on my emotional stability. Days are passing. Time is running. “The other path” is for me, I think getting okay but still…huh! Am I going to be a prisoner of “the other path”?
It’s just simple. I need to find a place without a trace of “the other path”. A new start. Commencement of a new chapter. Beginning of something. I don’t know whether it will going to be beautiful, wonderful or miserable. I don’t care about the name. I just need to be in “the default path”. From the time I write this, chances are getting smaller and smaller. Because the world is turning faster and faster. I’ve already sacrificed five month worth of time and money. I just want and need to be in my proper place. Or else a place that I believe is proper for me. I don’t want to give up. I know I can fight. Or am I forever “living on a prayer”…
Oct2k8
